On Skipping Grocery Pick-up

I love to listen to podcasts and audio books. I’m a young mom, and don’t have a lot of friends or social outlets at this point in my life, so I tend to listen to something audio when I need a break from the being-home-alone-with-toddlers-24-7 overwhelm.

I like mom podcasts, and enjoy learning about parenting. Being a mom is hard, and it’s helpful to find resources to work through issues we’re facing with our kids.

So last week I turned on an episode and the ladies commented about how hard shopping is with young kids, and how lucky they are to live in an era of grocery pickup, because they don’t have to live through the struggle with toddlers that their moms did.

Oof. First of all, shopping with toddlers is so hard. I am extremely thankful that pickup orders are possible, it’s so convenient to drive up, pop the trunk and drive home.

BUT. I think avoiding social situations like shopping with young kids is doing them (and yourself) a big disservice. Every outing is a training opportunity and avoiding the hard situations means that your child isn’t going to learn how they are expected to behave in a store, restaurant, or place of business. Instead of learning early, it’s going to be impossible to run errands or shop as they get bigger/louder, because they just didn’t learn how to behave in a social setting. (And the tantrums will get bigger if they’re not addressed and worked through as toddlers.)

All of this is to say:

1. Don’t be afraid to take your kids with you, even when you know it’ll be hard. The work will pay off later when your kiddos are able to be respectful in businesses, and have FUN learning life skills with you! (And don’t worry, shopping is stressful for me too right now, I’m right there with you, there is a 100% chance that either Tori or I will cry in the store or the car on the way home. )

2. Let’s give lots of grace to the mamas in the store/restaurant/church who are dealing with those toddlers meltdown. She’s made the decision to push through the hard and embarrassment of meltdowns and tears to help her kiddo learn how to navigate social situations, and snarky comments/judgmental stares and unsoliced advice are not helpful or edifying in anyway! In fact, having someone tell me “you’re doing great,” or “keep it up, it gets easier!” Is literally something that will brighten my entire day!

Keep it up mama!

Love, Becca

It’s okay to Ask for Help

Yesterday last year Tori was having surgery on her eye.

It was a really hard day for me. Handing my 7 week old baby off to a nurse, and walking out of the room was torture. I had a panic attack in the room, and the second nurse gave me a hug, even though she wasn’t supposed to.

It took a little over 3 hours. We sat 4 floors down, waiting for a phone call from the surgeon, and then for the nurses to let me come up. They won’t let you stay with your children as they wake up, and the nurse told me they waited too long to call me, so by the time I got up to her, she was hysterical, and it took over an hour to calm her down.

With her birthday last month, and coming up on the holidays, I’ve been thinking about where we where this time last year. It was such a joyful time, with a newborn, getting to watch Liam become and thrive as a big brother. We were so in love with our little family.

But it was also the hardest time. Looking back makes me so sad too. Between her eye surgery/appointments/care and the tongue tie issues/pumping/bottle feeding and just being postpartum in general, I feel like I completely missed her newborn stage. We were up every 2 hours every night for 4 months, trying to keep her weight and my supply up, and when you’re sleep deprived, everything melds together. It’s just a blur. There wasn’t enough time to just soak up the newborn snuggles, and it hurts that it is gone so fast and forever.

It’s strange that something can be both the most magical happy time, but also the hardest and darkest time too.

All this is to say 2 things:

1. Soak up the little moments with your kids. They grow and learn so fast. Slow down, when you’re able, hold them longer, they’re only little for a couple years, and then they’re independent little people.

2. The hard times don’t last forever. Things will get better. So if you’re struggling, it’s okay to slow down, and go into survival mode for a while. Ask for help, and then actually let them help!

Love,

Becca Weston

To the moms of toddlers: (or the mom who is overwhelmed.)

Parenting has been really hard for me this year. It’s been hard for a combination of the season we’re in, (toddlerhood, with a baby, postpartum, Scott works a ton, we are living in a very small space, just a lot of things.).

Even though we are younger statistically than the average parents these days, I don’t think we had crazy expectations that parenting was going to be a breeze… I’ve been around toddlers and babies my whole life, and knew there are seasons where it is just hard. What has been unexpected has been the overwhelm of always onto the next thing. You get potty training down, they go through a sleep regression. You get them sleeping again, and they start having meltdowns in public, you work through the meltdowns, and they try to give up naps even though they desperately need them daily…. Always something hard. At least that’s where we are at. Last night alone I got up 6 different times to deal with kid needs, and by the time the alarm went off at 5:30 I could have cried I was so exausted.

And this is totally normal;

this is toddlerhood.

I’ve been really discouraged lately, especially by the comments I have been getting, and hearing from other young mamas. They are from moms of older kids who are no longer in the thick of toddler hood and babies, essentially it’s “ I am so glad I’m not there anymore,” or “I’m watching these young moms with their kids and just so glad that I don’t have littles anymore, it’s just looks miserable.”

And every time I hear someone say this, whether it’s to me or to someone else, it’s just so disheartening. I understand being thankful you’re past this stage of parenting, but vocalizing that in such a negative way is really damaging to the moms who are in the young children stage of parenting right now.

So this is for the mama of toddlers.

You are doing amazing! I see you being consistent, patient and loving even when it’s frustrating and exhausting. I see you holding back tears while you handle yet another meltdown. I see you alone, supervising your kids at every social function. This is really hard, but I can see you’re doing your best! And it’s 1000% worth it when your kid smiles up at you, or hands you the weed they picked. When they loudly announce “me happy!” Or cuddle up in your lap! So keep going, it’s just a season, and the seasons change eventually.